Weight loss update: 44 lbs.

I write this as I've just finished gorging on Annie's graham bunnies, because I've had a long stressful day and am lacking in motivation.

Things with Weight Watchers are really really good. Except for the past week or so when they've slowed down a bit because I'm losing some steam and picking up some stress and relying on some horrible emotional eating habits.

To date, I've lost 44 lbs. No small change and I'm pretty proud. I am wearing the same size I wore when I got married. I'm at a weight I didn't think I'd ever see ever again. And I hope that I will keep going.

me with amazing race contestants at a reality show convention in March

My Weight Watchers key ring/Medals. 

44 lbs. difference, size 12 pants

So in the updated photo, you can see that I own a jogging stroller (I walk), I am suntanned for the first time since I was a kid because I go outside. I am reminded that my trusty nursing tank is too big, but that a few months ago I couldn't even wear it because it was too small.

It has helped that I am still nursing. And I think physical activity has also made a huge difference. And tracking what I eat, which is one of those things that I hate but that is super easy with the app on my cell phone and helps keep me accountable.  I'm not a pro but I've had some success here and I am optimistic that I can keep going and that I am doing something that I previously didn't think I could do.

First Birthday Party- Margaritas or Pinatas?

I've been so busy/distracted by school lately (as evidenced by my complete neglect of my blog), that I've blinked and suddenly Seb is 9 months old! Suddenly, my sleepy newborn is this super-fast crawling baby that eats puffs and is obsessed with my cell-phone and pulling himself up to open the DVD player.  His first birthday is going to be here before I know it.

Which begs the question: exactly what should I do for his birthday?

I would LOVE to go all out. Because, honestly, this first year was hard. And I want to party. And I have met a few moms who have babies and it would be so cute to have all the babies eating cake and pinterest keeps throwing adorable ideas like this up my way:

From http://annies-eats.net/

I die of teh cute. Right now, Seb doesn't know Elmo from his gloworm but how adorable. And he likes eating goldfish. And other kids would too. How sweet.

But. We live far away from everyone. We don't have a lot of money to blow on a party Seb won't remember. Things like this will mean more when he's a little older. This is totally about me.

So if it's about me, I've started wondering if I should just invite a bunch of OUR grown-up friends (who mostly don't have kids) and just have pizza and drinks? Because we should celebrate how we as parents have grown this year. We could still have the cute cake and even the goldfish. But it's cheaper. And we can use our apartment.

Pumping in the Car (Breast not Insulin)

The things I do for this guy ;)

So I've been back at school the past two weeks. It's a few times a week, at nights, but I miss a feeding and it makes me paranoid that Seb will suddenly decide to self-wean, so I've been pumping.

It's. Interesting. The first hurdle was supply. I don't pump well. So I took some fenugreek and kept practicing and it really did get better. So much better that I found myself leaking again. My average, as of late, is 4-8 ounces. Considering that I used to eek out 1-2 ounces, this is a success.

The next interesting thing is bottles. Suddenly, the only bottle Seb takes is the Tomee Tippee (which we only have one of). I think he could probably use a sippy cup, as he drinks water out of one, but I'm not going to stress.

The last interesting thing, and the most interesting thing, is location for pumping. I'm gone for about 3 hours. Before I started, I tried to see if there was like a room where I could pump. I didn't really get a good answer. On my first day, the administrative assistant at school let me go into an empty classroom. Which was kind of cool. I sat at the front, at the podium, and imagined that I was lecturing a classroom on the glories of milking yourself. But I found that the time that I would need to pump (at the end of class) conflicted with the time that classrooms were getting locked up and everyone was going home.

So I decided to pump in my car. I have the benefit of, at present, parking in an area that is pretty deserted and secluded. When I started, I was worried that I should hang up my tit-terrorist card. I mean, shouldn't I fight for my own quiet little office space? Shouldn't I be offended that I'm pumping in my husband's little toyota?

Welll.... I guess I'm not. It works. I get air conditioning and radio and it seriously is kind of relaxing (except for that time on Saturday when I looked over and this cowboy in a jeep pulled into a spot a few spaces over and I worried if he could see that I was exposing myself). But back to the relaxing part-no baby trying to get my attention. I can pump and play on my phone, twitter, etc. and just kind of zone out for 20 min. or so. And I like that Seb is still getting milk, even though he's also getting plenty of solids now.

Milk goes in insulated bag, courtesy of some online education thing. Because my husband and I are nerds for school swag.

View looking down at my battery-operated Medela single pump. Apparently, I go through the batteries about every 2 weeks.

What My Textbook says about using physical pain as child punishment/discipline

Take it for what you will. I was spanked as a child. It left an impact on me for sure.

On Murray Strauss and spanking:

"spanking is harmful for two reasons: (a) When authority figures spank, they are, in essence, condoning the use of violence as a way of dealing with frustration and settling disputes; and (b) the implicit message of acceptance of these form of violence contributes to violence in other aspects of society."


He also argued that any form of physical punishment was counterproductive.

"1. It does not help children learn why their behavior is wrong or what they could do alternatively...
2. The physiological response aroused by the pain of spanking may prevent the child from learning the lesson that the punishment was supposed to teach.
3. it fails to communicate why refraining from certain behaviors is important. (morality can't be learned through spanking).
4. It demonstrates using force to control others...
5. ... increases the probability that children will attribute hostile motivations to others.
6... may cause children to ...fear their parents...
7. Since parents love their children, adding punishment to parent-child interactions may increase a child's belief that violence and love are linked."


Barnett, OW, Miller-Perrin, CL, & Perrin, RD. (2011). Family violence across the lifespan. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publishing, pp. 143-44.

Image from: http://411chatter.com/1045/spanking-lowers-iq/

Quiche and Watermelon

So the quiche is based on an idea from The World in My Kitchen. I had some eggs to cook. Leeks sounded interesting. Asparagus wasn't on sale and I used lunch-meat ham instead of bacon. Added some tomatoes to the top.

Eggs= success.


And then this is from today. He's had watermelon before but it was an experiment actually giving it to him with the rind. It was a half success as it did end up 90% on the floor.

What I wish I'd known...

 I've been on a blogging hiatus, not by choice, but rather because my laptop got infected and I've spent the past two weeks getting it re-booted (still not re-booted. I'm on my husband's computer right now). This means I've missed/forgotten a few blog ideas and such and it also means I've gone through a lot of withdrawl.

But I wanted to make time to participate in this week's Breastfeeding Blog Hop about going back in time. What I wish I'd known if I could have done it all over again.

The day after he was born, I think.

I didn't take a class in Breastfeeding. I read some books. I looked over my copy of "The Nursing Mother's Companion". I figured it would be tough but I'd ask for the lactation consultant and we'd figure it out. I also went in with the mindset of "Well. I'll try." I think I said "we'll try" to save face in case it happened that I was the rare case whose baby is like allergic to breastmilk or something.


I wish I would have known how much I'd really love breastfeeding. I mean. I hate waking up in the middle of the night. I hate that sometimes I feel like a dairy cow. I hate that even now it sometimes still hurts a little. I hate that I haven't worn a real bra in over a year. I hate the stigma and mompetition. But I love the instant closeness and that I have to look at my kid. I love that it burns calories. I love that I don't have to fix bottles. I love that I have a secret weapon when he falls on the floor and cries because he hurts.

I wish I would have relaxed in the beginning when he didn't latch and it looked like he would never breastfeed. I was such a mess over this. Like a sobbing mess because I was nursing a hospital-grade breast pump instead of my baby. I wish I would have just enjoyed the fact that my husband was feeding him for a change. I wish I would have just taken some deep breaths instead of stressing myself out. Because he DID get it. We kept practicing (thank you, Breastflow bottles) and he picked it up. And now it's like he doesn't know how to do anything else.

I wish I would have stayed home and rested instead of frantically finding a friend to take us to see a lactation consultant that first Monday we were home (alone). I was so desperate. So me (exhausted, in pain and a little drugged from my c-section) and Seb (starving) shuttled over to a lactation consultant at our hospital. And spent HOURS. Engorged. Not latching. Drinking pumped milk out of medicine cups. Lathering lanolin on bloody nipples. Sobbing (both of us). Feeling guilty. Not resting or eating well or enjoying each other at all. After these hours of trying to get Seb to latch, my husband decided all La Leche League-types are Tit Terrorists.


This last one is one thing I most look forward to if we have another child(ren). Just enjoying my baby, knowing he/she will latch. That almost every child eventually learns to latch. That it IS normal for breastfeeding to hurt in the beginning, because you aren't used to being milked. That it is OK for you to give your baby pumped breastmilk and pacifiers in the beginning (there, I said it). That rest and eating are really, truly important for all. That it is worth fighting for and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That all the hype about breastfeeding is really true. That I would end up being a Tit Terrorist because of it.

At 6.5 months (we had JUST nursed, sans cover)

Our First Mother's Day

We celebrated by napping, swinging, eating ice cream and calzones, whining, cuddling, walking, exchanging the bassinet in our room for a low-to-the-floor pack-n-play with more space**, nursing, playing, giggling, reading, praying for bedtime to come quickly, and thanking the Lord for this exhausting and joyful relationship that has impacted me forever in a million ways.

First time swinging in a park.

**very sentimental. We had that sucker up for almost 7 months.